Healing Through Style: A Therapist’s Conversation with a Style Coach on Confidence, Self-Worth, and Evolving After 40
By Shirria McCullough, LCSW
Recently, I had the pleasure of sitting down for an Instagram Live with Tammara, a certified style coach and life coach. What started as a conversation about clothes turned into a deeply personal and layered discussion about rest, self-worth, and the mental load many Black women carry.
As a therapist who works primarily with ambitious, overwhelmed moms, I know that self-care is often the first thing to go. But what I loved about this conversation is that we didn’t just talk about bubble baths and spa days—we explored how something as simple as getting dressed can be an act of resistance, identity, and healing.
Click the Instagram post below to watch the full replay.
Style as a Reflection of Mental Wellness
Tammara shared how style isn’t just about clothing—it’s about how you feel when you show up. She sees style as a mindset and lifestyle that reflects your values, your confidence, and your relationship with yourself.
And I couldn’t agree more.
As a therapist, I often see women lose their sense of identity outside of the roles they play—mom, wife, caretaker, professional. But when they begin showing up for themselves, even in small ways like putting on something that makes them feel powerful, it creates a ripple effect.
Rest Is Revolutionary
We also talked about the importance of rest. Tammara opened up about her personal journey through loss, caregiving, and burnout—and how it pushed her to prioritize her peace. That resonated deeply with me and the women I serve.
Many of us are raised to believe that rest must be earned, that our worth is tied to how much we produce. But both of us are learning—and teaching—that rest is not a reward. It’s a necessity.
Redefining Luxury and Self-Worth
One of my favorite moments was when Tammara said, “Luxury is a mindset.” Social media may push a narrative that luxury looks like designer bags and lavish trips, but for us, it might be going for a walk, taking a nap, or showing up in a thrifted outfit that makes you feel amazing.
When we stop tying our worth to what we own, and instead root it in who we are, we begin to heal.
That’s what I want more women—especially Black women—to understand: self-worth is not selfish. It’s foundational.
What I Hope You Take Away
This conversation was for every woman who’s navigating change, healing from burnout, or simply trying to remember who she is. Whether you're over 40 and redefining yourself or just starting the journey of self-care, you are allowed to evolve.
And you don’t have to do it all at once.
Start with what’s accessible to you:
A slower morning.
An outfit that feels like you.
A walk instead of a scroll.
A single thought: “I deserve to feel good.”
You don’t have to have all the answers. But you do have to be willing to show up for yourself.
Watch the Replay & Take the Next Step
Watch the full Instagram Live here.
💬 Follow Tammara for more confidence & style tips:
@styledbytammara on Instagram
📥 Download The Ambitious Mom Reset: A Self-Care Guide for Moms Who Are Always On
Start creating space for rest, boundaries, and self-worth.
You are worthy of care, love, and ease—just as you are.
